Dreams of writing....

I love to write but I have no confidence. I have so many bullet points in my notes. My mind jumps all over the place. I have this dream of creating words for companies. Writing the descriptoins for landing pages, writing a paragraph describing a product or experience. Most of all I want to write for me again, I want to write words that may help others get through difficult times. Write words that might help someone get lost and forget for a minute. I feel like I need a change in my life once my current job no longer suits me. It's going to be soon because my paycheck just keeps getting smaller and smaller as these kids grow. I have a dream of sitting at a desk in my house and being paid to write. The desk is slightly messy, there are sticky notes with reminders and ideas placed around the monitor. Most likely a day old, half empty coffee cup on top of a self help book I'll never finish. I can see my routine like it's real. I see myself getting up with the sun, taking a walk as I watch the sun get higher in the sky. I'd return home, start my coffee, heat up my bone broth while I turn on my computer and log in. I would sip my broth as the smell of coffee filled the house, no sound but the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard. After a few paragraphs I start the shower, take my supplements, get myself dressed, put my face on that includes more and more effort as I age, and finally pour my first cup of coffee. And again, I sip and type, this time it's for hours, the words just flow from my mind to my fingers. The screen fills up with words, my words, words people will actually read. Hopefully my words will inspire, I want my words to reach people, and by reach people I want my words make them think, smile, even cry as they read them. After proof reading and correcting, because there are always mistakes, I make a light lunch and prep a healthy dinner. I need to stop and say I used to hate cooking, now that I don't have time I miss it. After scrolling through my phone and filling my belly I get back to work, looking for the perfect photo to match the words on the screen. If I can't find one, I pull out my Canon and create a photo that will help these words come to life. At this point I've thought of something I'd like to add so I'm back at the keyboard trying to figure out the best placement for this afterthought. Also as I am doing this I see some words that need to be more colorful, more engaging, so I swap them out, this makes my lips turn up and my heart beat a little faster. I place my photo into the words, maybe two photos and hit publish. Now it's time to turn the desktop off and start dinner and watch the sunset as I sip a mocktail......