Here I go again....
I've been wanting to document this journey since it started but I wasn't sure how to do it. I didn't, still don't, want to come off as woe is me. So here goes nothing, on the first day of 2019.... This divorce is a long time coming. I look back on all the times I was told to leave, all the times I was called a whore, all the times my privacy was disrespected. It's been years since I've known what looked like a pretty darn good marriage from the outside was nothing but a toxic relationship. I stayed because of the kids, I stayed because in my heart I wanted the marriage to last. I remember wishing, praying he wouldn't wake up and have a drink, only to hide it from me. He thinks I didn't know but I knew, I knew every time he would sneak drinks. I would lay in bed, pretending to be asleep, listening to him fix a drink in the kitchen at six in the morning. Soon he didn't even hide it come 10 am, he'd just shrug off my comments. Looking back, I shoul