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Friendship...

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These two ladies have had my back for over a decade. I am forever grateful for everything they have done for me and my family. We don't see each other as often as we used to, or as often as we should. I am determined to change that though. This past year has taught me a lot about myself and how I avoided people way too often. So here's to an amazing 2019 and beyond.
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Dreams of writing....

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I love to write but I have no confidence. I have so many bullet points in my notes. My mind jumps all over the place. I have this dream of creating words for companies. Writing the descriptoins for landing pages, writing a paragraph describing a product or experience. Most of all I want to write for me again, I want to write words that may help others get through difficult times. Write words that might help someone get lost and forget for a minute. I feel like I need a change in my life once my current job no longer suits me. It's going to be soon because my paycheck just keeps getting smaller and smaller as these kids grow. I have a dream of sitting at a desk in my house and being paid to write. The desk is slightly messy, there are sticky notes with reminders and ideas placed around the monitor. Most likely a day old, half empty coffee cup on top of a self help book I'll never finish. I can see my routine like it's real. I see myself getting up with the sun, taking a walk...
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Divorce still sucks....

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I started writing this on April 16TH 2019 Yesterday my divorce was final. I didn't expect to walk out of that court divorced, nobody expected it. Somehow we agreed, we both compromised, and walked out two single people instead of a married couple. 23 years and 23 days we were a married couple, and after a forty five minute meeting we were no longer Mr. & Mrs. The emotions I felt I can't explain, I was so overwhelmed. I thought I'd feel something more than I did. I thought I would cry to be honest. All I could do is smile as I called and texted those who I knew would want to hear the news before it hit social media. Today I feel drained, still relieved but drained. I really can't believe I'm divorced, me, divorced.....It's an overwhelming sense of freedom yet am scared as fuck to what my future will bring. My whole adult life I was tied to one person, I was married longer than I wasn't at this point in my life. So now what? Am I supposed to feel differe...
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