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Growing Pains

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I remember when I'd write about the every day, my kids were little, it was my after bedtime release. I'd sip on my tea or rum, depending on how the day went. That was fifteen years ago, I wish I would have never stopped. I wish I would have continued my first blog, even if I rebranded it as our family grew and changed. I wish I would have published more of my writings while I was going through hell. I tell myself to start again, back in 2019 I started this blog in hopes of telling my story. I quickly decided my side of the story was no longer important. What was important were my kids. So I focused on them, I've always focused on them, that was always my top priority. I will never regret being nothing but their mom for all those years. Even though there is no regret I do wish I had experience to do something more than what I'm doing. Something where I could grow and maybe even have to wear heels and a dress. Not that I don't love, leggings, five dollar t-shirts and ...
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Random thoughts at midnight.

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My thoughts are always interesting when I wake up to pee and can't fall back to sleep. I lay there writing inside my head for hours hoping to just fall back to sleep. I promise myself I will remember and write the next day....obviosuly that doesn't happen. Except, except today. Here I am, open laptop, iced coffee, the hum of the baby's noise machine through the monitor. Last night I couldn't get over all the hate in the world, over what? Vaccines, masks and lockdowns...why? What happened to freedom and personal choices? Since when did we go around bragging about our medical history? I share a lot on social media, I'm not always nice about it. I only share in hopes some of my friends will research what I share. I never expect anyone to change their beliefs just off what I post, never. I do have hopes that it will make them curious enough, curious enough to research. I also started thinking about how many times in the last five months some stranger on the internet h...
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To Write or Not

My writing has come up a few times in the past several weeks. I miss it, so here I go. I'm setting a goal to write once a week. Even if it's about nothing other than the mundane work week. . .. ... It's the first day of 2020 and I'd be lying if I said it was off to a positive start. I mean I didn't have sex yet, so that sucks. I didn't wake up hung over however, so there's that. It's the first year I haven't been married since 1995, how crazy is that? I want this year to be better than I could imagine so I have my work cut out for me. I've applied for some other jobs, and I'm freaking out over it. Like really freaking out. I have such an attachment to the family I work for now but I need more hours/money. I have always done what is best for other people, this year I want to change that and do what is best for me. At least some of the time, baby steps. I'm struggling with the job aspect of my life, I feel like a failure. Everyone tells ...
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