Adulting...

Being an unmarried,low income adult sucks. I'm just going to say that I miss the security of marriage, I miss knowing someone had my back. I'm struggling while my ex moves forward, it's disheartening. He's buying a house, he got a promotion....I'm still driving the vehicle we bought together seventeen years ago. All I need is someone to co-sign for me, well, I don't have anyone willing to do that for me. I have the income but no proof, the nanny life is good but a struggle. And being reminded that if I stayed married I'd have a new vehicle stings deeper than it should. I dedicated 20 years to my husband and kids only to be left with nothing, no career, no experience, low credit score.... So yes, I'm a little bitter. Divorce is hard, I do not recommend it. Even after years I'm reminded of many reasons why I should have stayed married while knowing getting divorced was the right decisions.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can we talk about Menopause?

Image
Who knew it was such a bitch? Why don't we get this talk from our grandmothers, moms or aunts? I needed the menopause talk way more than I need the period talk. Give me my period back, you can have this menopause shit. First let's talk about the hot flashes! Yes, I knew they were thing but holy fucking hell they are horrible. It's like your body is burning up from the inside out. They start off slow, you have warning that you are about to look like you ran a 5K. The heat slowly intensifies and then BAM you have sweat rolling down your back and you'd give anything to be able to strip your clothes off and stand in front a fan. There is no predicting when they will decide to attack, and usually they do so at the most inconvient moment. Like when you're checking out at the grocery store, or when someone needs to talk to you about something important. So you are stuck in the situation hoping nobody notices your face turning beet red, the sweat beeding up on your forehead...
Read more

Why did you stay so long?

I get asked this question often, usually by people that have only known me a short time. The answer is simple yet complicated. I stayed for my kids, it's that simple. But is it? I didn't seek divorce because I was afraid. I was afraid that I couldn't do it. I had been a stay at home mom for 18 years, 18 fucking years. That's a long time to put everyone in your life before you. It's a long time where you could have been doing something else, but those kids of mine, they were my number one. I have no regrets staying home and doing everything. Everything from carpool to dinner, to all the cleaning and laundry. Day in and day out I put my needs and wants on the back burner. I made sure everyone had lunches made, dinner every night, clean clothes to wear. It all landed on me and I loved it. I loved it so much I looked the other way, I made excuses. I didn't notice his drinking problem until me moved to Modesto but again, I made excuses for him. Then shortly after t...
Read more

Growing Pains

Image
I remember when I'd write about the every day, my kids were little, it was my after bedtime release. I'd sip on my tea or rum, depending on how the day went. That was fifteen years ago, I wish I would have never stopped. I wish I would have continued my first blog, even if I rebranded it as our family grew and changed. I wish I would have published more of my writings while I was going through hell. I tell myself to start again, back in 2019 I started this blog in hopes of telling my story. I quickly decided my side of the story was no longer important. What was important were my kids. So I focused on them, I've always focused on them, that was always my top priority. I will never regret being nothing but their mom for all those years. Even though there is no regret I do wish I had experience to do something more than what I'm doing. Something where I could grow and maybe even have to wear heels and a dress. Not that I don't love, leggings, five dollar t-shirts and ...
Read more