To Write or Not

My writing has come up a few times in the past several weeks. I miss it, so here I go. I'm setting a goal to write once a week. Even if it's about nothing other than the mundane work week. . .. ... It's the first day of 2020 and I'd be lying if I said it was off to a positive start. I mean I didn't have sex yet, so that sucks. I didn't wake up hung over however, so there's that. It's the first year I haven't been married since 1995, how crazy is that? I want this year to be better than I could imagine so I have my work cut out for me. I've applied for some other jobs, and I'm freaking out over it. Like really freaking out. I have such an attachment to the family I work for now but I need more hours/money. I have always done what is best for other people, this year I want to change that and do what is best for me. At least some of the time, baby steps. I'm struggling with the job aspect of my life, I feel like a failure. Everyone tells me to go get a "real" job, like it's easy to get a job with zero experience in any field other than kids. I was told there would be a ring on my finger if I had a "real" job like a bank teller. I'm still reeling from this comment. I was so floored I just got up and walked away from her, as to end the conversation. Am I not worthy of a serious relation because I'm just a nanny? Or is it just because I don't make a lot of money? If I was a nanny making $60,000 a year would that be acceptable? I am just rambling so I apologize for that...... Focus Misti, FOCUS!! Goals for this year... New job, lose those 8lbs the healthy way, new to me car, get my passport, and have more adventures. Ready Set GO!!!! Cheers to this new decade!

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